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After Love

Who was I
before I fell in love?
I ask myself that
after I’ve decided I’ve written enough poems
about my ex the coke-addicted thief
or the abusive narcissist before him
The one before him makes me
hate myself for being so naive
to want to love a man just like my father
Yet he’s the only one who didn’t lie
Who was I
before I fell in love
with men
with their members
or myself?
I’m drawing a blank
because I loved living
the way I love all good things
before I knew my life was just a series
of dangerous things
Who am I
after falling in love?

© Mary dela Torre, 2017